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Thank God, it’s football season again. Football is the only sport that I can stomach watching. It does, however have it’s drawbacks. (Like I wasn’t going to bitch about something.)

So, the NFL decides to have a kick-off party and invite “today’s” top recording artists. Who starts it off? The Rolling Stones. I love the ‘Stones…but, holy shit they are getting old. I mean like Great Grandpa just sit on his balls old. It was a spectacle to behold.

Mick Jagger looked great, for a 900 year old. He puts the “rock” in rocking chair. I was sitting in front of my TV, watching old Mick prance around stage waving his flabby arms, thinking…he’s going to die right here. This old guy is going to fall over and die on National TV.

Then I spotted Keith Richards and the “other” guitarist. (Yeah, no one remembers his name, he’s just the “other guitarist in the Rolling Stones with the big nose.) Keith is tore up from the floor up…there’s just no other way to say it.

These guys are Legends of Rock ‘N Roll…there’s no doubt…but, c’mon Mick…put the mic down. There ain’t nothing sexy about Father Time sticking the microphone in his leather pants.

AND QUIT DYING YOUR FUCKING HAIR. Who the hell do you think you’re kidding? The only guy in the ‘Stones, who’s not delusional is the drummer…senile, maybe…but he can still keep time and he let his hair go grey.