Another part of American Culture, STOLEN!

Ok Americans, once again one of our national past times is being assaulted by foreign nationals. A past time that we invented is being misused and a record is held by a Sri Lankan – Canadian…or is it a Canadian –Sri Lankan. Whatever, he probably plays Hockey

That’s right, Suresh Joachim, a Canadian originally from Sri Lanka, now holds the world record for watching T.V. at 69 hours, 48 minutes.

The Hot Dog eating contest wasn’t enough. No! Now their targeting us at our very CORE!

Admittedly, this guy definitely had an edge. I mean, have you ever watched Canadian television? Hockey and news. Sri Lankan television? Please. Not one I Love Lucy or Law & Order re-run. You savages call that entertainment!?! Suresh comes to America and he can’t help but watch T.V. for 3 days straight.

But, c’mon…I know there’s an American who can beat this record. We’ve got 900 channels and TiVO. We’ve got channels dedicated to 24 hours worth of cartoons and porn. Hell, I’ve been training for this event most of my life! All Americans have!

I challenge you unemployed X-Gen’rs. You can do it! Make your country proud.