Days that Suck

You ever had a day where you just knew that it would suck before you even got out of bed? Yeah, that was today for me.

Now, nothing monumentally bad happened today. No one close to me died, my house didn’t burn down, I wasn’t in a car accident, I didn’t lose any limbs, and my wife didn’t sleep with the neighbor…today.

It was just the little things today that piled up like mounds of horse shit at the State Fair…no matter how careful you are, you still end up stepping in it.

First, it’s bloody friggin cold…like 5 degrees. I’m ok with just cold. Somewhere between 20 and 30 degrees, I’m fine. Once you get into single digits, it sucks to breath. My skin tightens up, my contacts begin to fog…no really, they do, and my lips chap faster than Sean Penn at a Kodak convention. (That was a weak analogy and I apologize…it’s a shitty day.)

On the way to work, no matter what lane I chose, it became the slow one.

Once I got to work, it was one problem after another. I’m a quasi-IT guy, so I get those, “Why can’t I save this to my email?” and “I saved it, but now I can’t find it.” questions. It’s amazing how difficult it is to grasp the subtle intricacies of using Word® and Outlook®.

Then I realize that I left my phone at home, which is good and bad. Good, because I hate that little demon box...but, bad because I actually have to answer my land line at work. So, the client calls and emails start to come in.

First call, I drop my hands-free set, before I can hang it on my ear. The headset auto-answers when you pick it up from the base, so my caller hears the head set hit the floor and bounce under my desk and me grunting as I attempt to squat and reach it. Then as I try to put the headset on and crawl back out from underneath my desk at the same time, I crack my head on the bottom of the desk.

Something like this:

*ring*…click…*thwack*

*pat*pat*

“Groan”…*shuffle*

*WHAM!* “Oh, muthafucknsonofabitchpeiceofshitstickintheass”

“Ahem…This is [Kyuball], good morning.”

First client issue: client didn’t inform the box maker that the rush job they were working on feverishly through the weekend was cancelled. Box maker calls me to finalize some artwork specs and I get to be the asshole to break the news to him.

Second client issue:

For the last two weeks I’ve been working on “fixing” an error, that was in truth my fault, which caused the re-labeling of 60,000 units of an item with a non-scannable UPC barcode. Well, I fixed it, and I began sending out a packet to 1200 drug stores with instructions and new labels to 700+ stores on Friday.

The address list was provided by my client, who received from the customer. I specifically asked…twice, no less…if this was the most up to date list AND represents all the stores that require new labels. “Yes” was the answer, both times.

Guess who started calling us today: FedEx.

Guess what they wanted: accurate addresses and phone numbers.

So, I ask a THIRD time…the answer: “Oh, the client says that any address on the list without a phone number is a future location…please don’t send packets to these locations.” No shit...thanks for the update there Nancy Fucking Drew, did you come up with that all on your own? Never mind the whole, "This absolutely must go out as soon as possible" crap that I had to endure for the past two weeks...then, nonchalantly..."Oh...never mind those...la-di-da..." I hope she catches Ass-clap from a rusty mophead.

I won’t continue the count down, as I’m sure several of you have already skipped to the end, but suffice to say there were a few more. “Few” meaning more than four, less than fifty.

Oh…and sales was at it, once again. There’s a new guy who thinks that once he’s landed a new client, he’s done. Yeah…don’t bother telling the people who have to KEEP the client what they need to PROVIDE the client. Jack-hole.

Then…mom calls. I love my mother, she’s done more for me than I could ever repay…but, I’ve become her panic call. When she can’t get something done, she calls me. So, I go…no matter what it is…I go. It’s just that sometimes, it’s a wasted trip. Like tonight.

I won’t go into the details, this post is already too damn long…hell, I don’t even want to re-read it.

And the Colts lost yesterday. San Diego did NOT beat them…they beat themselves. Oh, well. The wheels on the bandwagon still roll.

I’ll try to post something more substantial for the 6 of you who actually read this drivel.