Remakes Blow

Ok…not all remakes blow. But a good majority do.

Case in point: The Nightstalker. The remake of Kolchack The Nightstalker.

This show sucks, and I haven’t even watched an episode of it.

“Then, Kyu, how do you know it sucks?”

Because, jack-hole, Stuart Townsend is the new Kolchack. He’s an ok actor, but he’s not Kolchack. Look at him…he’s too pretty to be Kolchack. The original story was of some bumbling, skeptical journalist who got into situations because of bad luck…then out of them because of dumb luck.

He didn’t have a Scooby Gang to bail him out. He didn’t have some driving motive to find a killer…he just wanted a good story. And he looked like this. Darren McGavin was the ultimate bumbling hero.

Hollywood has run out of ideas. The stories are rehashes. No one wants to try to come up with something new.

This is just like the new/old cars that they’re manufacturing now. The biggest rip off is the new Charger. What the fuck is this? A FOUR door Charger? You can’t put four doors on a Charger? Nothing on this car is a Charger except the name. The original Charger had a uniqueness about it. This new one looks like the rest of the four door sedans out there. Like a big plastic tampon.